Shelf Life Chronicles

Title: Girl, Serpent, Thorn
Author: Melissa Bashardoust
Release Date: July 7, 2020
Genre: YA, Fantasy, Retelling, LGBT
Rating: ★★★★

Thank you to Goodreads and Flatiron Books for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review!

Hello fellow bookworms! Today I have something different for you. I think I’ve done this once before, but it was back in the wee beginnings of my blogging days aka like a year ago. While reading Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust my inner monologue came alive and with some major sass. I decided it might be fun to share these thoughts in a hopefully non-spoilery kind of way. My hope is you’ll read these and be utterly confused but entertained and then when/if you read this book you’ll have a bit of my inner monologue with you and finally making some sense. Enjoy!

1. This story seems fishy
2. A girl of shadows and tunnels I dig it
3. Her whole life has been self isolation and social distancing
4. Can’t cockroaches survive like Armageddon?
5. Very confused but this guy is gonna be important
6. Wait who is the love interest here
7. I wouldn’t blame her if she did touch him
8. Such a sweet little cinnamon roll with dreams of saving the princess
9. Boy can throw a punch
10. Girl if you touch my cinnamon roll Azad I’m putting this book down
11. Can this monster be the love interest? She seems great
12. Strongly dislike her mom
13. Her brother seems sweet but he’s also just using her
14. Pot calling the kettle black
15. How to write a slow burn: MC can’t touch anyone and everyone is a potential love interest
16. 1/4 of the way through and I just realized I have no idea what Soraya wears in her daily life
17. Danger noodle
18. Easy peasy
19. Okay well that’s a wrench in the plans
20. It just gets worse
21. “I can touch you” (in Voldemort voice)
22. Uhm let’s refrain from judgement there Azad
23. Jk still love you
24. Again, fishy
25. If you’re a monster I’m a monster
26. Busted
27. Very insta lovey; I’m not buying it
28. Oh em gee. I totally called this
29. She’s very obsessed with his neck like in a vampire kind of way
30. I still have hope for this love
31. The truth always outs
32. Where is the feather
33. Let me just go cry
34. Her brother is making points but #teamsoraya
35. Kiss the monsters
36. Parvaneh!
37. I just want them to have a moment
38. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
39. The student becomes the master
40. He must have a really awesome neck
41. Plot freaking twist
42. Ughhhh I still love Parv
43. Demons are people too
44. Triangle complete
45. Nature versus nurture
46. Boy wants what now?
47. Wait how old is said boy?
48. *palm to face* GIRL
49. Parv is just telling it how it is and I’m here for it
50. There’s some poem by Robert Frost about two roads and that just seems so relevant
51. Everything is grey
52. Twists. And. Turns.
53. I mean she kind of has everything to do with it
54. Bad. Ass.
55. Queen of Monsters
56. Let me just go back to my corner and cry some more

Hope you’ve enjoyed my innermost thoughts and I strongly urge you to pick this one up or add is to your TBR!